There’s A Difference Between A Catcall And A Compliment

person-731281_960_720

When women walk down the street, no matter what they’re wearing, they are always ready to be catcalled. You might think I’m being dramatic, but I promise you I’m not.

Every day as I walk down the street, I stare straight ahead. It doesn’t matter if it’s a brand new place or my block at home — I always know it’s possible that a guy will decide to comment on my body. I regularly walk around with my middle finger at the ready and “go to hell” on the tip of my tongue. I try hard to stand up for myself and yell back, but I also have to think first and foremost about my safety.

One of the biggest arguments that men (and sometimes women) like to make about catcalling is that women should take it as a compliment. They say, “it means they think you’re hot,” or they try to explain that “they don’t mean it to be intimidating, they just want you to know that you look good.”

But here’s the thing: I’ve been complimented and I’ve been catcalled and they are NOT the same thing.

Let me explain.

Walking from the subway to my last office, I would walk by a lot of men who were hanging out on the street. A lot of them were construction workers, delivery-people, and drivers. I’m not trying to generalize blue collar workers because I have definitely been catcalled by white collar workers as well, but because they were the ones standing on the street more often, they were the ones who harassed me most.

I became so used to the stares of these men that I was always prepared to be catcalled. I heard everything from the normal “hey sexy” and kissy noises, to “mmm show me a smile baby” and “damn, girl.” I didn’t get any particularly creepy catcalls there, but keep in mind that I heard most of these at 9:00 in the morning.

So you might be thinking, “So what, they were just telling you that you were sexy.” But that’s not the case. Those men were taking advantage of the street space they hold to make me feel uncomfortable. At this point in time, all men know that catcalling makes women feel uncomfortable, if not unsafe. So men catcall women entirely to get a rise out of them.

And here’s the difference between that and a compliment: One day on my way to work, I stopped to cross the street. While I was waiting for the light to change at the crosswalk, a man approached me and said, “Excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that your hair looks really nice in the sun right now.”

That is a compliment. And you know how I responded? I didn’t flip him off, I didn’t yell “f*ck you” at him, and I didn’t tell him to go to hell. Instead, I said, “Oh, thank you,” and I smiled at him. I didn’t walk away feeling degraded and off-put; I walked to work slightly happier.

So, men, if you want to see a smile, don’t shout “show me a smile,” say something that might actually make someone smile. And don’t scream “hey sexy, nice hair,” mention in a non-threatening way that my hair looks nice in the sun.

I’m sick of people trying to convince me that catcalls and compliments are the same thing. I’ve experienced both, and I’m here to tell them that they’re wrong.

Epic Things

screen-shot-2016-10-03-at-10-00-37-pm

As I said in my life update, I recently started a new job as a Junior Writer at Epic Things. I’ve been totally loving it — great coworkers, young work environment, wonderful office space — and I wanted to share some of my articles with you, the people who have supported me since the very beginning.

A lot of the articles I write are stupid stories about trending celebrity news, exploding poop, or sexy women. Some of them, though, have been really great to write. Those are the ones I’m going to share with you. You’re obviously more than welcome to read the rest of the things I’ve written, I just won’t be posting the links to them here.

  1. Netflix “She Rules” Video Is Exactly What We’ve Been Waiting For

  2. Watch This ‘Shark Dancer’ Risk Her Life To Help Injured Sharks

  3. When Celebrities Read ‘Mean Tweets’ Of Themselves On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live,’ America Rejoices

  4. Michelle Obama Goes On ‘The Late Show’ And Proves She’s Just Like Us

  5. Beach Created By Bombs Is So Gorgeous That Your Mind Will Explode

  6. The 15 Best Celebrity Reactions To The First Presidential Debate

  7. Katy Perry Uses Her Body To Get People To Vote

  8. Joe Biden Will Cameo On Tonight’s Episode Of ‘Law & Order: SVU’

10 Adorable Tiny Houses That You’ll Want To Live In Right Now

ICYMI, tiny houses have become all the rage the past few years. From television shows to YouTube channels, tiny houses are sweeping the nation. And why wouldn’t they be? They’re perfectly-designed miniature houses that play into the sense of comfort and coziness that we all seek. And in an overly-materialistic society, tiny houses seem like the perfect way to live a nomadic, traveling lifestyle while still having the comforts of home. Plus, for those of us who aren’t particularly outdoorsy, but still want to experience nature, tiny houses are the perfect solution to camping. Even if you’re super attached to your material goods, I promise that by the end of this post you will be pulling out your checkbook to make a down payment on your own tiny house.

Read the rest of the article here!

Life Update: Fall 2016

For all the people who follow my blog in order to catch up on my life (and not just for my snarky social commentary), I want to update you on my life.

A lot of big things have happened since I came back from Lauren’s wedding in Hawaii, which I think is the last time I did one of these “life update” things. I know I said I would write more about the wedding, but I didn’t, because life got in the way. Although, I did write a tiny bit about my experience as her Maid of Honor, which you can read here.

screen-shot-2016-10-03-at-8-54-01-pm

On August 18th, my boyfriend Matt and I adopted a dog. We’d been thinking about it for a while, but we found a listing for an adorable one-year-old dog online, and later that day she was ours. She is a Tibetan Terrier mix and is partially hypo-allergenic (which Matt needed). Her previous owners received her as a gift (even though they didn’t want a dog), so they kept her for a while, and then surrendered her at the shelter. They had named her Bela, which we changed to Bella (short for Bellatrix).

screen-shot-2016-10-03-at-8-57-04-pm

When we adopted her, she had kennel cough, which is the dog equivalent of the common cold. What that meant, though, was that she was in isolation in the shelter. We brought her home that night, bought food and a bed, and started taking care of her. Within two weeks, she’d been to the groomer, multiple pet stores, and two different vets. I have legitimately spent more money on this dog’s medical bills than my own.

screen-shot-2016-10-03-at-8-57-56-pm

She’s been quite a handful, but we really love having her. To read more about how she changed my relationship with Matt in the first month of having her, you can read the article I wrote for Unwritten.

screen-shot-2016-10-03-at-8-58-48-pm

 

So Bella is big change number one. As some of you probably know, last summer I was working as a marketing assistant in the higher education department of Oxford University Press. After about six months there, I knew it really wasn’t the right fit for me. I started actively applying for jobs in January. I went on a few interviews, but nothing panned out. I grew increasingly more and more frustrated and desperate.

After applying to more than 60 jobs, I was finally offered a position as a junior writer at a website called Epic Things. I accepted the job, and started on September 14th. Epic Things is a small website under the parent company, Little Things. Little Things is primarily a website with uplifting videos, recipes, parenting tips, DIY projects, and pet things.

Epic Things is kind of like Little Things’ teen brother. We write a lot about poop, explosions, car crashes, celebs, and other “epic” stories. I’ve written a lot so far (almost 100 articles) and I’m really loving it. You can check out everything I’ve written here (please don’t judge).

screen-shot-2016-10-03-at-9-15-35-pm

 

A few days into starting my position at Epic Things, I got an email from another job I had applied to. A week or so later I had a freelance blogger position for a website called The Hoth. It’s a little hard to explain what I do, but basically I’m a ghost writer for blogs. So far I’ve written about guns (yikes), Pokemon Go, trucking invoice factoring companies, and cerebral palsy in relation to medical malpractice.

So on top of all the new things going on in my life, I’m also trying to eat healthier, work out more, and be more on top of housework (but these are things I’m always trying to do better at). Since my last post, I also turned 23 and have been trying to find time to volunteer for Hillary Clinton’s campaign (I signed up months ago and still haven’t gotten a chance to go).

Anyways, I think that’s everything. I’ll be writing more soon and trying to post some of my Epic Things articles (that I’m actually proud of) and Unwritten articles (if I ever find time to write them). Stay tuned for more! Love you all.