1. Because I would have a lot of explaining to do to my boyfriend.
2. Because why on earth would it make sense for me to be sleeping in a submarine on the moon?
3. Because teachers generally don’t talk to you while you’re in your lingerie.
4. Because I would have a lot of children. A LOT.
5. Because a mechanical deer jumping through the window of my elementary school would actually be terrifying.
6. Because I think I would be severely traumatized from stepping on a dead person’s head. Well, more traumatized than I already am.
7. Because as much as I wish it were true, I am not related to Olivia Benson.
8. Because my fluctuation in physical appearance would probably indicate some serious health issues.
9. Because I have fallen off cliffs far too many times to still be alive.
10. Because donuts are not a breakfast food. Just kidding, yeah they are.