1. Try to convince everyone around you that you’re not actually drunk
Because there’s no better way to convince people that you’re sober than by shouting/slurring “I’m not even buzzed” every two minutes.
2. Lose all pickiness when it comes to alcohol consumption
When I’m sober I hate the taste of most types of alcohol but when I’m drunk I’m willing to take shots of anything and everything.. including (but not limited) to every fruit flavor of Rubinoff, Tequila and cold medicine (kidding!)
3. Nonchalantly disclose your childhood trauma to people you barely know
I’m not sure why but every time I’m drunk I randomly start conversations with people about all of my emotional hangups and negative life experiences. But like there’s no place better than a party to tell a stranger that you think you have difficulty trusting people because of feelings of neglect you had as a child…
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