This is hilarious and entirely accurate (Mom, don’t read this).
Let’s be honest, the only time handjobs are at all acceptable is in the 7th grade. I mean we all remember that one girl in middle school who became known as the edgy, slut because she gave a boy in your grade one half assed handjob behind a park bench. I’ll never understand them- I mean, why do for a man what he can do for himself? It’s common knowledge that most men masturbate at least 7 times a week which means it’s pretty safe to say a man knows how to jack himself off better than a hook up could. To me handjobs should only be used as part of oral sex, but that’s just one person’s opinion. I’m used to my hands and the speed and force needed to get off and the last thing I need is someone coming over with their dry ass hands…
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