The 5 Ways to Survive The Super Bowl

Bruno Mars will not compare to Beyoncé. And Grenade IS a terrible song.

Is This Why I'm Still Single?

1. Sit next to someone who understands your situation or someone you loathe entirely

When watching the Super Bowl it’s important that you sit in the right place. Generally I like to sit next to the person who is just as lost as I am so that we can be together in our confusion and giggle over how overly serious everyone is being about the game. If this person isn’t available then sit next to a person you completely hate. That way you won’t feel the urge to talk at all during the game.

2. Always be next to the snacks.

Whenever I’m worried about saying something stupid or offensive I eat so that my mouth is too preoccupied to spew bullshit. The same goes for the Super Bowl! If you don’t get what the fuck is going on or you’re bored to tears, make sure you have a snack…

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