That’s right. Plural. No, once wouldn’t have been infuriating or humiliating enough, clearly. No, two different boys, at two different times, decided to pull the same stunt: pretending to fall asleep while sitting in a parked car, waiting for me to decide what we were going to do with the rest of the day. A hint, for any boys out there who might be reading this, it’s really not a good plan. At all. It will probably end with the girl sitting silently for a bit and then deciding that her time would be better spent doing, well, anything. Also, if either of the two of you are reading this, and I hope you know who you are, I really do apologize if I acted like a bitch, but a high five is not a proper way to end a date in which you pretended to fall asleep. It’s just not. Also, I am aware that it is the twenty-first century and I am all for equality in relationships, but if you have absolutely no ideas for what to do on our first date, I would recommend you wait until you have one instead of making me sit in your car that has been sitting out in the summer sun until I think of something. Let’s just say in the most successful date I went on, my date picked up a bag off of someone’s porch that contained dog poop. It was awkward. At least he was well-intentioned though.